I love my wife very much and I want to continue all the progress we made in our marriage over the past year. He does have serious anger issues and will bring up things from over 15 yrs ago. He always made me laugh, now I can only cry. I have so much hatred in me. Cast your pain onto the Lord and allow Him to minister to your spirit. However, it helps taking a step back. When you are trying to figure out how to forgive your partner who has hurt you, please understand that it can take time and the steps are not all easy. yesterday, i was fagged out and asked hubby to help out but he didn’t and all i said was “it’s not fair”, and he had gone silent since then. I was wrong, I felt bad afterwards and confessed the next day. Hoping our love only grows stronger from this point. On the last night there, he tried to make a move. So when you are ready, it’s important to take this step in the process and journey of forgiveness. Just a year ago we had everything and now its gone. I am left by myself for something I have not done! He said it was the best for both of us 1 with ‘It Keeps Happening’ Kierra Sheard Earns No. This causes real phsical pain besides emotional, spiritual, etc. And do it!!! In my case the therapy did help. Cast your pain onto the Lord and allow Him to minister to your spirit. It took years before I understood that. I just found out my husband cheated on me. It doesn’t belong to us. Others will tolerate the betrayal and although they might never thrive, they’ll stay intact. We have two daughters and this has broken me. Sometimes i feel that we only work our marriage because of our children. I need help . Less of. We can’t meet everyone’s needs and sometimes, the relationship might no longer be able to meet the important needs of one or both of you. When I ask about something she yells and threatens to leave. The first difficult step in the process is reframing what your spouse did to you. and still do daily Not only will you need to forgive your partner, but you also may need to forgive yourself. For example, a good apology is usually needed for the victim of a betrayal to be able to forgive. But one day I read her chat that was intimate and I totally shocked. my hubby could hardly have a day without sex but now doesn’t even care despite my “skimpies”. If both people are claiming to have done everything they could and the affair happened, then there’s no room for growth and the relationship will stay vulnerable. The truth is that sometimes, people outgrow relationships. I want to forget anything and I want to forgive her but in deeply I not unable to forgive her but I want to forgive her..want should I do please help me, Hi Greg It definitely keeps things in perspective! I do believe that she was at the end of her rope to do what she did. I feel miserable and defeated. But in order to grow, both you and your offending spouse must recognize that the dynamic of your marriage cannot remain the same way it did before it led to the betrayal. A couple of months ago, all of these thoughts flooded me about her having an affair 15 years ago (I had suppressed the memory and never thought about it before). Im doing my best to forgive her. But I always ignored this. She told that she felt really guilty and she never told me because she felt that she deserved to punish herself with that guilt. Give her time and if you can live separately for a while. Children together or not. 11 Steps to Moving On After You Get Your Heart Broken, Dealing With the Green-Eyed Monster in Marriage, The 9 Best Books About Infidelity to Help You Recover, 3 Reasons Why Forgiveness Is Good for You, Daily Tips for a Healthy Mind to Your Inbox. Great message on forgiveness. My advice would be to love him as much as you can. They knew what the affair had that the relationship didn’t. Every time I was asked for details or to explain why I did it. He would be there when I called her some nights, touching her as we were talking. These needs are so important, that if they remain unmet for too long, they will create a tear in the relationship wide enough for someone else to walk through and claim the opportunity to meet those needs that, when met, can fuel intimacy, desire, alchemy, and attraction. Forgiveness, Stress, and Health: a 5-Week Dynamic Parallel Process Study. What a great marriage resource you are! You have both hurt and been hurt, both forgiven and needed forgiveness. When you choose the path of forgiveness, it will indeed, set you free. I asked where in the house, and she said in the spare bedroom. You are so right though. I’m evidence of that! I find myself emerged in it again, because we ran into to someone who worked with them and all the memories bubbled to the top like it was yesterday. Why does she get to take the kids? So she broke it off with him. For a relationship to work, the needs of each person have to be compatible. or maybe I let it die… he says he doesnt message no one and stuff but I just dont belive him. I’m insecure. Affairs cause devastating breakage in relationships, but they aren’t the only thing that can hurt a relationship. Infidelity happens for plenty of reasons. How to Forgive Yourself in 9 Different Ways? Let your energy turn to an honest and open exploration of the motive behind the affair.