And even so, I would still get his ok, or at the very least make sure he’s comfortable with the idea of his child being around my SO before I proceed with having my SO be in my child’s life like that. Trust yourself. Betrayal is a common enough experience in human social life. My hunch based on your intuition (and based on my own past experience) is that his wife knows nothing about you, that he is indeed living a double life, and that he's telling her he just needs some time apart before they work things out. Holding in your painful feelings can have negative effects on your health and your relationships. Both sides might be eager to get the whole rebuilding process over with as fast as possible. Maybe have kids with him? If you want to repair your relationship and avoid hurting your partner again in the future, you need to reach a mutual understanding of what good communication looks like. If he was upfront with you about his situation and “baggage” and you chose to be in a relationship anyway, it’s on you. But these signs could also indicate you may not be ready to work on the relationship. But if you know you’ll never be able to completely trust your partner again, no matter what they do, it’s generally best to make this clear right away so you can both begin to move forward separately. You don't need to be going through this. And often, this might involve physical space. Make sure to follow up by telling them how you intend to avoid making the same mistake again. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Feeling betrayed may require us to go deep into ourselves, to recover who we most fundamentally are, what is truly important to us, and where life is calling to us. Sometimes, family or friends do unpredictable things. It might be painful or uncomfortable, but one of the biggest aspects of rebuilding trust after betrayal is talking to you partner about the situation. Why does he deserve that respect when he hardly interacts with your child??? How could I have been so blind?” Yet, often for these individuals, betrayal has actually come with little, if any, warning. When you apologize, be specific to show you know what you did was wrong. Feeling betrayed in a relationship. Somethings fucky here. Don’t let your partner rush you. So your boyfriend lied to you about multiple things. Cookies help us deliver our Services. When the individual confronted the depth of the feeling involving these experiences, they were close to those of Shakespeare’s Caesar, who fell into absolute despair in the face of the betrayal of his friend. You feel safe with your partner and know they’ll respect physical and emotional. For instance, when an unsuspecting spouse suddenly finds clear and flagrant evidence of an affair, the experience of the discovery may take on many of the typical aspects of a traumatic event, such as re-living memories or finding the discovery of the affair appearing as recurring parts of a dream sequence. I know I should’ve told you the truth, and I regret causing you pain. Having someone break your trust can leave you feeling hurt, shocked, and even physically sick. But when you decide to give the relationship a second chance, you’re also deciding to trust your partner again. You feel committed to the relationship and to your partner. While making such a generic statement is great for upvotes, I take offense to this statement. Set aside some time to clearly tell them: Give them a chance to talk, but pay attention to their sincerity.